Why are you still living in Mumbai

THE BOTTOM LINE: It's not all gold that stinks

Turning shit into gold, or at least money, is an old dream of mankind: Getting rich practically out of nowhere, after all, things couldn't get any better. But, as is well known, nobody has succeeded so far - except perhaps Rumpelstiltskin. Whereby he didn’t turn excrement into gold, of course, but straw, and in the end this also brought him death. Besides - yes - it's all a fairy tale anyway.

So if you can't make gold out of dung, then at least a chip that protects against cell phone radiation, that's what the Indian Cow Commission probably thought. This is an authority set up by the Indian government to deal with making useful things from cow dung, for example soaps or medical products, as the AFP news agency reports. The Hindu nationalist ruling party BJP led by Prime Minister Narendra Modi has already invested millions of dollars in researching various uses not only of cow dung but also of cow urine.

Whether this is based on the assumption that only good things can come from the animals that are sacred in India - holy shit - or whether someone, for example an atheist meat lover, thought that something profitable had to be done with the cows, if they weren't already there is not allowed to eat. Nor is it why the money is not simply put into tried and tested ideas for using manure, such as climate-friendly biogas plants.

So now cow dung chips against cell phone radiation. According to the chairman of the cow commission Vallabhbhai Kathiria, the chips reduce the radiation when you put them in the protective cover of your cell phone. Kathiria did not explain exactly how the technology works and what scientific findings it is based on. Unfortunately, neither how much the cell phone smells afterwards and which perfume is best used to stink off.