Will my friend stop using cocaine?

For cocaine, I missed my kids

I'm just as you were.
I'm just at the point where I can't do without it and I realized that I'm developing an addiction, but still not strong enough to leave it. Suddenly I don't care about anything and the quarantine gives me even more time and money that I usually spend on going out. Unfortunately I started doing it at work (service). Now I feel like I need this at work. (No arrogance) But without the devil's stuff I was always a very good and friendly waitress who really appreciated her work and guests.
Now I have a bit of a marvel that I can't do good service without it.
I'm in a good mood with this stuff, but just try to have everything done as quickly as possible and stress my guests extremely, as if by sense. I just don't take any more time for her. I am also no longer interested in my business, although I have always felt comfortable. Going to sit after work or with my work colleagues after a shift just don't feel like it anymore. Just get home as soon as possible.
I will look for a job in sales after the Corona stuff without tips, which makes my addiction easier so that I have no problem with spending a little more a month. So I can afford to consume it and then when I have the job, I just have a basic wage and I don't even say an additional 2000 francs that I can burn.
It's stupid for me but since I haven't put any value on expensive stuff or clothes for years and I live very "lowlife", I can get by with such a wage and don't have to be afraid to give up my standard.
Right now I don't really want to stop because I'm fine and I finally make contacts (loners and never found a connection) but they are not the right ones. I have a high potential for addiction, which unfortunately again became my undoing when it was snowing.
I always smoked weed because it relaxed me a lot and now because of the snow I hardly smoke at all, but only one when I want to fall asleep.
My 2 friends that I have known for a long time and always met twice a week to chill and puff are just smokers and don't take anything else.
So many have said that you neglect your contacts and I couldn't believe that, but I noticed it myself because I feel very uncomfortable with the 2 when we deal with them and I talk to them completely stoned and they just want to chill stoned. Since I now need it every day and am currently on short-time work and get up at 2 or 3 in the afternoon and usually need my hour to wake up, it's just practical to gain weight and just be fit.
That makes it almost impossible for me (unless I have nothing that happened last month because the tip is missing at the moment) to chill out with them. I also don't want this uncomfortable feeling somehow and secondly I don't want to make it palatable to you, let alone bring your one "friend" back into the addiction.

Well, I could go on writing forever, but now at 6:30 in the morning I am sitting there again and pulling stories from people who have made it and mostly hope that they scare me a bit, but unfortunately I think that you will experience it yourself have to check something🙄

Sorry for the long text 😌

regards