When did you attend your first wedding?

Wedding talk - This is what awaits you

No panic! A casual conversation to get to know the bride and groom and pastor - this is how you should see the wedding conversation.

You lead it with the pastor, who will also marry you in the church and so you can build up a personal relationship with this important person at your wedding. How the wedding interview goes exactly depends of course on the people involved.

Nevertheless, we have put together some basic aspects and questions about the wedding conversation, both Protestant and Catholic. So you know roughly what to expect.

We have divided this article into the following areas:

  1. Wedding talk: place and time
  2. Wedding interview - why and what for?
  3. What papers do you need for the wedding interview?
  4. Marriage preparation protocol and questions from the pastor
  5. Wedding conversation - questions from the bride and groom


1st wedding interview: place and time

The wedding interview usually takes place about three to four months before the wedding and is often divided into up to three dates. In any case, you should plan at least two hours for it.

Usually you meet with the pastor for a wedding interview in the rectory or the pastor visits you at home.

Very important: do not be afraid of Bible questions and approach the wedding interview in a relaxed manner!



2. Wedding interview - why and for what purpose?

Often the wedding interview is the first meeting between the bride and groom and the pastor - the perfect occasion to get to know each other in a relaxed way and to build up "a relationship".

After all, you want a wedding that is as personal as possible, for which the pastor first has to get an idea of ​​you.

Second important occasion for the wedding interview: Planning your wedding ceremony.

How should the process be, what kind of wishes and special ideas do you have? Friends and family may want to get involved.

The best thing to do is to think about it before the wedding interview - you can read more about this below under the Questions from the bride and groom.

In the Catholic Church, the marriage conversation - similar to the marriage course (so-called marriage preparation course) - also serves as an introduction to the Catholic understanding of marriage as a sacrament and to accompany the Church in this important step in life. You can find more information and an interesting interview on the wedding interview at catholic.de.



3. What papers do you need for the wedding interview?

The papers you need for the wedding interview depend on whether you will be married as a Protestant or a Catholic.

Protestant wedding ceremony

Bring the following papers with you to your wedding interview with the evangelical pastor:

  • Identity card / passport
  • The decisive form is called marriage registration in the Protestant church. You can often download it in advance or request it from the rectory. If necessary, you fill out the marriage registration together with the pastor during the wedding interview.
  • Baptism and confirmation certificate or entry in the family register (baptismal certificate available from the baptismal parish office)
  • Confirmation that the marriage has been registered with the registry office (will be issued by the registry office) or a marriage certificate if the marriage has already taken place at the registry office
  • For weddings outside your community: letters of permission / dimissorials
  • Nice to have: Your baptism and confirmation sayings

Catholic wedding conversation

The following papers are required for the wedding interview with the Catholic chaplain:

  • Identity card / passport
  • The decisive form is called the marriage preparation protocol in the Catholic Church. If necessary, you can request or download this in advance from the rectory. Often the marriage preparation protocol is also filled out together with the pastor during the wedding interview.
  • Baptismal certificate (not older than six months) - available from the baptismal parish office
  • Certificate that both partners are single - available from the rectory or residents' registration office
  • Proof of confirmation (can also be made up)
  • Confirmation that the marriage has been registered with the registry office (will be issued by the registry office) or a marriage certificate if the marriage has already taken place at the registry office
  • For weddings outside your community: marriage license / discharge certificate
  • Nice to have: Your baptism and confirmation messages

Danger: You need two witnesses (age and denomination do not matter) - for the wedding interview, you should already know who that should be.



4. Marriage preparation protocol and questions from the pastor

Of course, every pastor asks different questions. Basically, however, you can orient yourself to the following questions and topics and, if necessary, prepare yourself for them:

  • How did you get to know each other and fall in love? What important things did you experience together?
  • What is your career like? What hobbies / interests do you have?
  • What is your relationship with your families?
  • What do you like about the other? What are you bothering?
  • What does a good marriage look like for you?
  • What do you wish for the future together? How do you imagine your marriage?
  • Why is a church wedding important to you?
  • Do you want to have children and raise them in a Christian way? (Especially important for the Catholic Church)

Our tip: Tell us about yourself very casually with memorable anecdotes, details that are important to you and personal thoughts. This makes the wedding all the more personal!

For the catholic wedding conversation, you should already know whether you want a liturgy of the word or a celebration of the Eucharist (Holy Mass with conversion and communion).

In addition, you will probably get a so-called "Marriage seminar" Recommended - that sounds worse than it is. Then just find out about it without bias. It is often offered in the form of a weekend seminar in small groups. You exchange ideas with other couples, discuss marriage and family life, legal issues and financial planning. An interesting one The Archdiocese of Cologne offers a video for the marriage seminar. Where marriage courses in the cath. Dioceses are offered, you can catholic.de look up.

Ideally, you should also check them out important questions before marriage and discuss them together.



5. Wedding interview - questions from the bride and groom

The possible questions the bride and groom may ask mainly relate to the course of the wedding. As a couple, discuss in advance what you want and ask the pastor whether and how your ideas can be realized.

It is best to inform yourself beforehand about the Process of a Protestant or Catholic weddingit is easier to incorporate personal ideas.

Important topics are:

  • Enema: Who is going first? In any case, leave enough space so that the photographer can take pictures of you in the hallway and you are not covered by the pastor.
  • Music requests: Which songs shouldn't be missing? Are there musically gifted relatives who would like to help shape the service? General wishes for musical design? What songs should the congregation sing (Audio samples)? Should it be a Church notebook give and who designs it?
  • Floral decoration: What is possible or desired? If several consecutive marriages are planned on one day, it is good if the couples coordinate with each other. After the wedding, the flower arrangement usually remains in the church for the Sunday service.
  • Wedding promise: Would you like to make an individual marriage vows? To what extent is this possible after the marriage words?
  • The part "You can kiss the bride now" is not mandatory. So agree if and when the pastor should start this ritual.
  • Wedding saying: Do you have favorites / already selected a saying? Here you can find some examples from the New testament and the Old testament.
  • Should Family or friends participate in the service?
  • What is the collection (Collecting money at the end of the service)?
  • How should he Indent take place? Listen to them here Top 10 hymns purely.
  • are Photo and video recordings possible and from which location?
  • Is a Champagne reception planned and possible after the service?
  • Up to where can it go Wedding car ancestors?
  • Allowed to Petals / rice be scattered? are Soap bubbles an alternative?

Speak openly to all ideas / wishes that you have about your wedding!



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