What is it like to see someone die


It's about my feelings during my worst experience ... the person I'm writing about is my father
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How does it feel to see someone die?

I can tell you ......
You feel helpless, useless and have the feeling that your own heart is tearing apart.
You look at the dying person and cry
see the paramedics fighting for this person's life.
But you yourself are no help.
you yourself just stand there, damn you can't do anything more than watch.
The person's significant other screams hysterically.
You hear these desperate screams that threaten to be choked by tears.
Then you break down too
alone in a room from which you can see most of it.
But you don't want that at all.
You bed with gods you don't know
although you never really made a serious bed
But they don't hear you
instead, they tear the soul from the body of the dying person.
Let him die no matter how many times you ask her to let him live.
You think about how it should go on without him
whether it works at all ... what will happen to the little sister who didn't even know her father for 10 years.
What about the big sister who had no chance to get to know him?
What will happen to everyone?
There are pessimistic thoughts that ask
what will happen after his death.
The reason for these thoughts is the feeling that it is already too late
that death has already laid its cold hand over him,
Irrevocably .... forever.
You hope that he survives ..... but your instinct tells you that he has already taken his last breath.
Minutes seem like an eternity to you ..... an eternity that you don't even wish your worst enemy.
After the paramedics have made him ready for transport, a weak heartbeat exists, they take him to the hospital.
But you're too weak to pick them up and take them to the hospital.
The door closes ...
It was the last time you see him.
But it is a moment of hope, because you think that he might still manage it.
You go out into the fresh air
Because in that house you can't stand it any longer.
You let the weak moonlight touch your skin.
Don't cry anymore because you can't anymore.
You keep telling yourself that he can do it
he was strak and full of life.
Too late.....
You come back to the house where the person struggled to survive
and the first thing you are told is .....
He is dead.
Again you burst into tears
You couldn't really say goodbye to him
you couldn't hug him one last time
tell him you love him
All the time you spent with him on vacation or weekends
it seems much too short
and you start to touch it even though it could never be changed.
You keep telling yourself that you should have spent more time with him
you could have got to know him even better.
Now it is impossible
that night you fall asleep in tears of your own.
And under the slaps of the others present.
It will never be the way it used to be
you know that.

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End......

I just thought mri that I write this from my soul ... it was good.
As if a great burden had been lifted from my shoulders ...

Kind regards
Ryokumana
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