A relationship can ruin your self-esteem
Self-esteem and relationships - a complicated interplay
People are social beings - and so Self-esteem and relationships definitely influence each other. However, it can be very stressful to make your self-esteem dependent on the love relationship.
Relationships can boost self-esteem
Do you remember how good you felt the last time you were freshly in love? - Love relationships can certainly strengthen self-esteem. Even if you are in long-term partnerships with each other promotes, encourages and affirms, self-esteem develops positively. To have a relationship partner, the one unconditionally loves - so the way you are right now - is a wonderful and very empowering feeling.
Relationships can damage self-esteem
Relationships can do that But also damage self-worth. Sentences like: “You can never do that!” Or: “You see, you've overestimated yourself again”, attack self-esteem and, heard and believed often enough, can also hurt it. Many couples make each other bad. This can be done from jealousy happen or simply because of your own lack of self-esteem. The success of the other can be considered Threat to the relationship be seen. "If I strengthen her in this new development, does she still want me?" Negativity can be an expression of one's own bad self-worth and thereby weaken the other.
Being cheated on or abandoned also weakens self-esteem. But this is usually only temporarily (You can find support after difficult separations here).
Good self-esteem promotes relationships
The interplay between self-worth and relationships is very complex. Good self-esteem has a positive effect on relationships. When you know and love yourself, you will find it easier to love others. What does self-love mean? Self love means knowing yourself as well as possible - with your experiences, with your values, limits, likes, dislikes, strengths and weaknesses - and so on accept and love. If you can accept and love yourself, it is also much easier other people to accept and love as they are. You don't have to rely on others to allow you to be yourself or to show you that you are great.
Relationships cannot replace a lack of self-love
People with poor self-esteem often try to strengthen their self-esteem through their partner. this leads to Conflicts and, in turn, can damage the relationship. Many are looking Confirmation by the partner and hope that this will strengthen their own self-esteem. The interplay between self-worth and relationship doesn't work that way. You can have your own self-worth do not define via the partner - who is particularly beautiful, successful or wealthy. And no matter how many compliments the other person pays you: if you don't like yourself, they will all fall on deaf ears. The following scene, which is often described and laughed at, illustrates this: a woman asks her partner how he likes her new haircut or dress and then asks critically until he says something that she can interpret negatively. If the woman would like herself in the new dress, the partner could voluntarily compliment her or not - she would feel fine anyway (and I'm sure to get compliments from several people for their positive charisma in the new item of clothing!).
Promote self-esteem - for the relationship with yourself and others
As an adult you can develop and expand your self-love, alone or with professional guidance. Some people were generously encouraged in this development as a child by loving and empowering parents. Unfortunately, many people did not have this experience because they had more critical caregivers. Parents often ask too much or have an ideal that the child should achieve rather than actually unconditionally love. Now partners cannot catch up on this. If you are just as critical of yourself as your father, for example, then your partner cannot change this. The Self-esteem can of course be positively influenced by a relationship. If you have the lack of self-love though only looks for the other, instead of working on a better feeling about yourself, you will likely fail. Working on better self-esteem takes a lot of patience and mindfulness. She will be rewarded with more happiness and satisfaction - with oneself and in relationships.
Photo source: (c) iStock.com/bernardbodo
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