How the fingers take a girl's virginity

Defloration by petting?

Question: I am 16 years old, my girlfriend is 15. Since we have known each other for some time, we would also like to petting each other. But now we are both afraid that I could deflower her while stroking the vagina or penetrating it with my finger. Can you feel the hymen as a firm resistance? Where exactly does the skin actually sit? Nothing is visible to the naked eye.

answer: It is absolutely understandable that such fears exist before the first sexual experience at all or the first experience with a new partner.

++ More on the topic: Petting ++

In principle, the hymen is a relic from the history of every girl's development. During the embryonic stage, this membrane has the task of closing off the access to the later uterus, fallopian tubes and vagina from the outside. In the course of further development, this membrane then recedes and a small seam usually remains, especially in the rear area of ​​the vaginal entrance. However, there are also girls in whom the hymen still completely closes the vaginal entrance.

++ More on the topic: Woman anatomy ++

Since the strength of the hymen differs from person to person, it can also tear easily or difficultly. For some girls, the use of tampons can lead to cracks in the hymen, for others the hymen can also tear when exercising. Therefore, in principle, it is quite possible that small cracks may arise when the finger is inserted during petting. However, this does not mean defloration in the strict sense, as this term is used in connection with sexual intercourse. It is therefore ultimately irrelevant whether there is a small crack or whether the membrane is already completely torn.

When inserting a finger, you usually do not feel the hymen. If you proceed with caution, it is by no means painful.

++ More on the topic: The first time ++

The pain that is often mentioned in connection with the first sexual contact is in most cases caused by tension and cramps in the girl.

++ More on the topic: The sexual arousal of women ++

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Dr. Britta Bürger, specialist in gynecology and obstetrics

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