How am I heartless and emotionless

How can I get completely emotionless?


my problem is this:

I think I seem very emotionless. How do I get there?

  1. I have often seen this in myself
  2. I have been told it indirectly by very few other people so far. "Indirectly"

I often seem very listless and tired, even though it is not. I have black spots under my eyes, many think I haven't slept at all or even smoked weed. I don't smoke pot or do any other drugs. Very rarely do I drink a little alcohol (nothing hard) and don't smoke either.

I have the feeling that a lot of people misjudge me. Basically, that's not that important to me, but the more I think about it, the clearer it becomes to me that something is wrong.

I don't talk to anyone about it except myself. I know that I'm not a totally emotionless person because I also warn of my emotions, but I can't really communicate them to the world. I admit that I am not the most emotional person on earth and may also be a little less emotional than other people around me, but I am definitely not completely emotionless. I have always considered this lack of emotion to be a strength.

E.g. even with the greatest gifts, I often fail to be genuinely happy. I really appreciate gifts, but I'm really happy ...

Another example: I have very few friends who are really important to me. I have a lot of good buddies with whom I like to do things, but I don't really talk to them about serious topics. In addition, I am hard to shock & hard to impress, I've seen that in myself many times.

In addition, I have the feeling that sometimes I can almost completely switch off my emotions. For example, there is a girl in my environment who I actually like very much, but she only sees me as an acquaintance / friend. At least I think so, because somehow I often have difficulties recognizing other people's emotions. Sure, when someone is crying, I already know what's going on, but with such small emotions I sometimes just don't see through ... Anyway, continue with the text. Sometimes I think about this girl and sometimes I get sad because she probably doesn't feel for me what I feel for her. But it often happens that I suddenly stop feeling completely. Suddenly the girl is unimportant to me and all other negative things (stress etc.) are as if swallowed by the earth. That's why I always saw it as a strength.

I am often very embarrassed about stupid things, even if no one remembers them. Basically, I don't care what others think of me. On the other hand, somehow not.

Would be great if someone could give me some advice on how to best deal with it and what I could try to change. By the way, I am 16 years old & male.