Is arranged marriage good or bad

It seems an antiquated thought: what if the parents suggest who to marry, who to grow old with? The idea is associated with the forced marriage, most of them would feel restricted in their freedom. After all, we learn from a young age that we have to know for ourselves what is best for us.

Only: The thought may not be that absurd. In any case, Hanni Schwarz sometimes feels like the happiest wife in the world when she looks at her friends. It really didn't look like it when her father suggested a young man from the Orthodox Jewish community to whom the family belonged almost 30 years ago. At the time she was in training, was already working a little; it was clear that one day she would get married, but the time seemed far off. "I thought I still have time, my life was perfect. A man wasn't on my agenda," says the woman, who wears a wig and a high-necked black dress.

But before she decides to marry, she thinks about what is important to her in a partner and discusses basic questions with the potential husband. Exactly such things are neglected in love marriages today, find many relationship researchers and couple counselors - we have ideals in our heads, of people and relationships, and these should then fulfill marriage and partners. Instead of seeing love as a common development, says the Munich couple counselor Sandra Neumayr, "many see their partner like a ready-made soup that they just have to stir and season."

When Sudhanshu Kapoor talks about his marriage, the expression "expectation management" is often used. The 32-year-old has been married for three years. Although he has lived in Germany for years, his parents finally convinced him to marry an Indian woman who now lives with him in Munich. To this day, the two argue a lot, at the same time the young man says that he is very sure that his wife will always understand the importance of his family to him. He wouldn't be so sure about a woman from another culture.

So is more ratio the answer to the high divorce rates? Not necessarily. But it can help to examine your own choice more closely. Read here what the concept of arranged marriages has in common with online dating, why Hanni Schwarz says that her marriage was only really happy after three years and what science has found out about arranged marriages.